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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Initial Glucose Screen

D'oh! 139 max. Mine was . . . wait for it, wait for it . . . 145! Again, I reiterate, d'oh!

Because I had Gestational Diabetes with Dylan, and the recurrence rate is pretty high, my nurse decided to go ahead and do an early screen yesterday. She called me with the results this morning as I was driving to work. I have the dreaded 3-hour Glucose test scheduled next Wednesday morning. Wish me well . . . I just need to pass 2 out of those 3 tests!

And, as if I needed a cherry on top, my blood pressure was really high yesterday (165/120), so more drugs for me, yay! I'm already taking 1 Labetalol 3 times a day. Now I have to take 1 Procardia in the morning ON TOP OF that. So, here we go again. Ho-hum, just another routine appointment for me. At least Philipeanut's heartrate was good: 155-165.

Everyone have a safe and Happy New Year! See you in 2009!

Friday, December 19, 2008

15 Weeks Today

“Try to enjoy it”, my primary-care physician told me when I told her that we were pregnant again. I could tell that she sensed my hesitation and my avoiding the giddiness. It’s been the best advice for this pregnancy that I’ve gotten so far, but still difficult to do.

Last Friday was our first appointment at Maternal Fetal. Oh how we dread this place, the place where Dylan’s heart condition was first detected and where the walls came crashing down on us. I sat in the waiting room, trying to read random magazines to pass the time.

When the tech finally called my name, she walked us to the ultrasound room and began the usual routine. We were going in for an NTS or Nuchal Translucency Screening, where they measure the back of the baby’s neck. That, in combination with a blood test, can be used to determine whether there is a higher risk for certain birth defects such as Down’s Syndrome, Trisomy 18, or a Neural Tube Defect. And wouldn’t you know it, the tech had a difficult time getting that measurement. We were on the cusp of being able to get that measurement in the first place (the screen must be performed between 11 and 14 weeks – I was 14 weeks to the day).

She excused herself out of the room to see if one of the other techs would have better luck getting the measurement. I glanced across the room at the nervousness all over Justin’s face. I called him over to me and held his hand. I know we were both thinking the same thing, “Here we go again. This can’t be good.” The second tech came in and was able to get a few measurements that she was satisfied with. She informed our original tech to take them to the doctor and see if they would be good enough to work with. Our tech excused herself again. She said, “Either the doctor or I will be back in here shortly.” She didn’t tell us anything else, not whether the measurements were good or bad, whether they were in range or not, whether she saw anything else on the ultrasound. Nothing.

So we waited. This time, the doctor entered the room. Again, I thought to myself, “This can’t be good.” She smiled and welcomed us back to the office. This was the doctor who originally suspected that Dylan had a heart condition. As she sat down, she asked how we were doing. I didn’t want to get unnecessarily worked up, so I just started talking away. I was able to tell her how anxious we were and how nerve-racking it is to be back in this position. She told us that, of course, that was understandable and that everything looked good. Whew, a sigh of relief. Another hurdle crossed.

I got a call from the office yesterday giving me the results of the sequential screen blood test. I didn’t jot the specific numbers down, but she told me everything was in range and looked good. They will perform a second round of blood testing in a few weeks.

Of course, we are no where near being “in the clear”. Because of Dylan’s heart condition, she told us, they will be looking at this baby’s heart closely as well. And because of my blood pressure, our Maternal Fetal visits will still be necessary too. She was kind enough to add that if we ever wanted to come in for an ultrasound, even if we didn’t have an appointment, to just call the office for a visit. At the very least, it’s reassuring and may help with all the anxiety that I feel in between doctors’ visits.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Philipeanut's First Pictures

Incidentally, my first appointment with my doctor was back on November 21st, my mom's birthday (we actually surprised her and told her for the first time at her birthday party the next evening). When we saw our little lima bean, we were overjoyed (of course), but getting to that first appointment was a hurdle. I think we waited with bated breath until we were actually able to see the munchkin on screen. Again, I was amazed at how much the little guy (or girl) was moving. And we got to hear the heartbeat (a strong and solid 170 bpm)!

Here are the particulars:
1. My estimated due date is June 12th (one day after Dylan's birthday).
2. I will be 14 weeks this Friday.
3. We will not be finding out the sex . . . that is, if we can hold out!

Here are the pictures:


Yes, I admit it, here I am pregnant again! When I first came across the term “Rainbow Baby”, I wasn’t certain of the root of that terminology. And the only decent explanation I could think of was when I look at the magnificent beauty of a rainbow, I am reminded of God’s gifts and I will always think of Dylan. But I will also know, that at the end of that rainbow, another perfect prize awaits me and I am so blessed with the opportunity to go through these motions again.

Being pregnant after losing an infant comes with a barrage of emotions attached:
Excited, Nervous, Anxious, Paranoid, Cautious, Subdued, Judged, Joyful, Scared. It’s a real roller coaster of emotions to face, but it’s a ride that I take eagerly.

I desire to remind people not to forget about Dylan. And not to think, even for a second, that we have. For even in our joy, there will always be a little bit of grief attached. In our excitement, a little bit of fear. I know that prayers are coming in already, and every night I pray as well. We must put stock in that blind faith that God is here, walking this path with us and that this baby is already so loved and so tremendously cared for. And that's what we continue to do, day in and day out, KEEP THE FAITH.