I did not skip lunch on Friday so that I would have time to get my nails done instead. A pregnant woman would NEVER choose a French Manicure over French Fries. Not me at least!
I totally did not forget to bring the beautifully wrapped gift to the wedding we'd been planning on going to for over a month now! And I definitely do not have a Type A personality that would allow me to be anxious about forgetting this present and keep me off the dance floor for a majority of the night. Not me!
It most certainly did not help that I thought I could fit my 6+ month pregnant body into an ill-fitting non-maternity dress. I don't think like that at all, not me! And since I would never think about squeezing myself into this non-maternity dress, I would definitely not have the pictures to prove it:
I would never think to ask Justin to cut me out of the dress at the end of the night because the zipper broke, and I didn't have the patience to wait for him to figure out how else to get me out of the extremely uncomfortable, non-maternity dress. I wouldn't just buy a dress to wear for one, single, solitary occasion . . . totally NOT ME!
Finally, I did not make Justin drive all the way to the mall yesterday, just a half-hour before closing, so that I could satisfy my craving for pretzel sticks. Those things are pure, buttery goodness . . . er, I mean evil! And I don't crave anything that is the least bit unhealthy, not me!